Finding My Sexy Again ~ Found It once

Check HERE for the first post in this series "The Past".

So, I met THE guy. Of course when I first met him I had no clue. Does anyone?

I liked him differently than I had liked anyone ever before. He treated me differently, expected more from me in a good way. In any other relationship I couldn’t trust a guy as far as I could throw him. My experiences were they cheat, they leave, or they do both. You would think I’d approach this relationship like I had all my others.

But no, he was so much more than all the rest of those guys. He treated me like a girl. Like I was meant to be treated like a girl. Does that even make sense? Everyone else treated me like an object. HE didn’t. He treated me like an equal, like I was worthwhile, and most of all, like I was sexy.

Before my interest had waned very early on. The guys would bore me or they’d turn out to not be exactly what I had hoped or thought. They weren’t as funny or smart or as interesting.

Not him. I was excited every single time we talked. The first time he called me we talked for three hours! THREE hours. Then we started seeing each other. It was crazy and wonderful all at the same time.

He became my best friend. He became the love of my life. He made me feel about myself the way no guy had ever made me feel before. I was totally in touch with my feminine side. He brought that out in me.

How did he do it? He made me feel worthwhile. He made me feel loved. I trusted him. He was the first and only man I’ve ever actually been in love with. It was amazing to put it into the simplest of terms.

We could go out to dinner and he might notice how pretty the waitress was, but that was it. An observation. He never made me feel insecure about myself in these situations. He didn’t oogle her or watch her walk away.

We were always touching, and it was because of him. If we were walking somewhere, he was holding my hand. Not in some freaky, possessive way, but sweet and endearing. I loved it and soaked it all in for what it was worth. If you had seen me that year, you would’ve thought I had Perma-Grin. He just made me happy from head to toe.

There’s always a glitch though, isn’t there? He’d been married before, but they’d never had children. I had been married, and had 2 little girls. The glitch? He wasn’t ready to be a dad. Wow, major FAIL! We loved being together, but my girls were my world. There was no choosing for me and he didn’t ask me to. As much as he loved me, he couldn’t see himself being a dad yet.

Things began to change and we just knew it was time to go down different paths. It was probably the hardest thing I had ever had to do emotionally with someone I loved. Breaking up with him didn’t have an impact on my self esteem like it had with other guys. Sure it was personal, but on an entirely different level.

Unfortunately, some things don’t change overnight and it was only a month later I would meet my future ex-husband. I’ll share some of that debacle in my next post.