So, we've hit a crossroads with my 12yo son. Last week I started hearing murmurings that he might not go trick or treating because he was too old. I'm not sure where he got this, other than from his classmates. I certainly would never tell him to not go...unless he was 30.
The other day I told him to go and enjoy it because we grow up to quickly. His 8yo brother agreed. Unfortunately, they have no hindsight at this age. They understand only to a small degree how fast life passes by.
Today as Doodle was getting ready, I tried my best to encourage Buddy to go with us. I told him he needed to make a decision...all the while he's put on his costume and is walking around in it.
In all honesty, I was getting frustrated. I don't want him to care so much what others think of him. I want him to embrace the decisions he makes. To stand firm. He needs to have enough confidence in himself to have his own thoughts. Tonight wasn't going to be that night it seems.
He wore his costume and kept finding fault in it. He wanted to know if I could tell it was him. (Oh sweetie, who cares?) His mask was pressing his nose down. (no one will notice) He tried to use a mask to cover his face and then use the real mask. (it just isn't working pal)
As we drove around the neighborhood in town, Doodle went door to door gathering up all kinds of sugary goodness, along with a sample toothpaste, popcorn and pencils, Buddy sat in the back seat watching. I kept asking him if he wanted to get out (ya, kinda), and encouraging him to go have fun, he never moved out of his seat. In fact, by the time we were done, he had a throbbing headache and wanted to go home so he could go to sleep.
Have you hit the tween stages? Did yours go trick or treating this Halloween or have they given it up?
Monday, October 31, 2011
Too Old To Trick Or Treat?
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6 comments:
Too old for candy? Yipes, my 15-year-old still loves it!
My children got to the age that they thought they were too old and I just let them make their own decision.
My son sounds like your son but I think standing on your own decisions sometimes comes with age as well.
When my son was twenty-one someone made fun of him for going to the movies with me. They called him a 'Momma's boy.' His response was, "Your right I am a momma's boy because she is the only one that has ever stood by my side through every thing." Now at 12 he would have never said that but probably would have been embarrassed. At 21 he had made his stance and stood firm. Don't worry about it. He will grow to be a man of integrity. :)
At that age, kids go through a phase where they think everyone is looking at them and judging them. I forget what this stage is called, but it's so common it has a name!
My son went through this when he was 10 through 12. As long as his face was covered by a mask, though, he was OK. This year, he's 13 and he was more than happy to go trick-or-treating. He said that if anyone bothered him about it, he would just tell them he was taking his little brother. Then he said, "Hey, it FREE candy! Who passes that up???"
I hate to tell you this.. but it gets worse, next year he'll want to go.. but alone, out with his friends,, you'll feel foolish skulking along behind him the bushes praying he doesn't see you. Don't ask me how I know this :)
This is the first year that only one of my six kids went trick or treating. Granted, a couple of them are too old now. But I tried to encourage the 12 and 11 year old boys to go because it's the last year for them. They wanted nothing to do with it so I did't even bother to buy costumes. I think it bothers me more than them that they didn't go because it means they're growing up and I don't get to do all the fun things that I used to do with them, like Easter egg hunts, seeing Santa, and trick-or-treating.
That transition is so tough! Maybe if he had a buddy to go with him it would have been ok?
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